the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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