I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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