Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
