can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
