I wannas sexs uuuuu
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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