I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
