i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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