I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
