You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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