You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
