i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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