You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
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Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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