I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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