So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
