my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I could fuck to npr.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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