I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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