At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
