I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
