All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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