evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
