went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
