is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
