East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
