You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
