he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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