Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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