My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You can't motorboat a personality
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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