The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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