The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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