Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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