Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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