I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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