shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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