so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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