oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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