I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's rum buckets o'clock
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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