She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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