Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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