I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
