You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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