Non-Jews are for practice
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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