it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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