just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
