I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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