I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
