i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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