these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
