I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I CAN MOONWALK!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
