I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize