Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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