I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
