somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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