Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
