I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
