Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
