He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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