I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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