Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
