so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
