butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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