the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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