So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
