Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize