She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and she was petting her beer can
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
