Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
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So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize