She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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