D3 body, D1 cock
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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