I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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