So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I touched a dick in church today
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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