That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
