Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
