i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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